Get Your Kids To Listen Better Through Connection

The number one complaint I get from most parents is that their child DOES NOT LISTEN to them. I totally get it, I have a son who is very good at not listening when I ask him to do things. Interestingly enough, what I have found in my years of experience as a Mother and Early Childhood Consultant, is that kids actually listen very, very well. I'll explain.

If you were to open a box of cookies, kids come running.

If you unwrap a chocolate bar or plastic packaging that might sound like a toy or game, they come running.

If you quietly whisper to your partner that you might think going out to the toy store is a possibility, kids come running.

They can hear the things they WANT to hear.

So that's the difference. A child doesn't listen because they don't really care about what you are saying to them. It's likely something that doesn't interest them or is not part of their own, personal agenda. If it is of interest to them, they are front and center. Remember this next time you have to discuss something with them or ask them to do something for you.

There is also a big difference between hearing someone and listening to someone. Hearing is what our ears do and listening is what our heart cares about. I find that if I want others to listen to me, I must demonstrate that I listen to them.

A more successful strategy is to approach the child through CONNECTION and try to get on the same page as them. Engage with them in THEIR world and demonstrate that you value what their interests are. By doing this, you also role model to them HOW to value someone as well as value what is important to them. Connection is the magical tool to get them to care more about what you are saying and asking. Without it, the odds of getting what YOU want without yelling, screaming, begging or bribing, will likely not happen.

Helpful tips to CONNECT to encourage better LISTENING:

• check to see when the best time is for you to attempt connection with them. If they are playing with a friend or in the middle of a video game, make an attempt another time.
• share in a discussion, activity or routine together.
• engage with your child by tuning into what THEY are doing. Let them take the lead and tell you what's going on instead of you trying to control the conversation and potentially take over.
• remember.....CONNECTING before ASKING
• engage and interact together positively. The quality of time is far greater than quantity of time.

As adults, we have so much on our plates each and every day. It would sure be nice and very helpful if everyone could just do as their told.....immediately. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. What DOES work is connecting with others and building relationships of trust. This strategy promotes teamwork and can help bring a more harmonious energy to the household and family. So, remember CONNECTING before ASKING.

If you have any questions or would like to know more about this topic or any other, please reach out and contact me anytime.

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