Avoid These Danger Zones When Around ChildrenSep 22, 2023
The purpose of this blog post is to not CAST JUDGEMENT but rathe to BRING AWARENESS to the subconscious habits that all humans can possess. You may find that you do all or some of the points and there are tips on how to remedy them if you choose to do so. You may also find that you don't do any of the points below but by bringing awareness to these topics and habits, this read can still provide a positive impact.
3 THINGS PARENTS SHOULD AVOID
1.) Take things PERSONALLY and get upset at the child and then REACT to that upset.
A child may be upset WITH you and it's ok for you to feel upset by this however, this is not give you permission to lash out back at the child. This is not how to teach a child to regulate themselves when upset and we end up role modelling the exact thing we don't want them to do back to us.
2.) CONTROL and FORCE kids to do what the parent actually wants instead of working together towards a common goal.
It would be so much easier if kids just did as they were told but you know that's not how it works. You would be surprised how much we do ask/remind/tell our children what to do on a regular basis which tends to make children just tune us out. In order to get kids to listen better (read my blog post about GET YOUR KIDS TO LISTEN BETTER THROUGH CONNECTION ), we must start with connection. Try to think of this as a teamwork approach rather than employee/employer-type of relationship. You're likely going to get a better buy-in and more positive outcome.
3.) Be sarcastic, judge and belittle children when they are upset.
This usually happens because we may not agree with WHY the child is upset and we really want them to get over it so we don't have to give any more effort or energy. I understand it can be really challenging when we are already exhausted from life and then have to stay patient and loving to a child who is pushing us to our limits. However, it is CRITICAL that we remember that they are observing how WE react to our feelings as a means to their understanding of what to do and how to act when experiencing certain situations. I encourage you to AVOID the temptation to react NEGATIVELY to their upset (and your stress) as it is likely it will be hurtful or harmful to the child.
If you have any questions or would like to know more about this topic or any other, please reach out and contact me anytime.
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